As Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week
approaches, I am hit with overwhelming feelings. Anyone that knows my history
will understand because I attempted suicide when I was 17.
At 29 years old now, I can’t believe how
amazing my journey has been. 12 years seems like a long time and quite a bit of
separation. As they say, hind sight is 20/20. If 17 year old me could have
looked into the future and seen what my life would look like now, I’m not sure
I could have gone through with my attempt.
I am so thankful that I am still living
in this world. I have so many opportunities to change the direction of my life.
When I was 17, I couldn’t image a life like this. A life where I am so happy to
be alive. A life where I have people that I can feel their love and acceptance
like a weighted blanket (in case you didn’t notice, I want one!). A life where
even when everything at work is going wrong, I’m stressed, I’m tired, the dogs
pooped everywhere and the cats threw up on the bed, I’m good. I may have a
moment of freaking out. Who wouldn’t? But then I just have to laugh at the
absurdity of the entire situation.
Why do I say any of this? Well, I want everyone
to know that there is an end. It may take some time, but the pain and suffering
ends. It has to. You have to let it end. My attempted suicide is such a small
part of my life now. It is barely a blip on the scale of my life. I refuse to
be defined by the bad things in my life. We go through bad things in this
world. We go through terrible, heart breaking things in this life. The key is
to not let any of those things define you.
Here’s the point though, this isn’t about
me. It’s not about my history. This is about you. This is about the people that
you love. If this week means as much to you as it does to me, then you have
been touched by suicide or something just as difficult. It is such a difficult
thing to put your head around. Someone feeling so low that they couldn’t image
another moment on this earth.
This is why this week is so important. To
let people know that they are not alone. That they have so much to offer this
world. And knowing that we were each preciously and fearfully made by the most
loving and all powerful God, doesn’t hurt at all.
The more you rely and grow in Him, the
easier this all becomes. Be the light to the world, as God is our Light. Share
that love with others and let it GROW! When everything is dark and the walls
are caving in, remember, Jesus went before us and showed us the path.
I am NOT a victim. I am THRIVING! You are
NOT a victim. You are THRIVING! We have so much power, because we have God. Use
this week as a reminder that through God all things are possible. He
specializes in impossible. It’s really His sweet spot of operations.
“I can do all things through Him who
strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13 -ESV
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