How Do You Remember Who Your Backup Is?

“For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  - Jeremiah 29:11  ESV

This was a verse I heard so much in my youth. It was even the verse of our summer church camp the year after I attempted suicide. This had been my verse for a long time. It is a great way for me to ground myself when the weight of the world is ready to crush me.

In our current society, we are bombarded by so much information. What we should look like, how we should dress, what we should think, how we should speak; and it’s exhausting. It is easy to understand how all of these pressures along with work, school, bullies, kids, family and significant other dynamics can cause anyone to want to pull their hair out.

This is the moment. This is it. When I am teetering on the edge of the abyss of my mental and emotional sanity that I have an out. This is when I pull out one of my many verses (usually this one) and remind myself to whom I belong. I am a child of the Most High God. In Him, I have HOPE and a FUTURE. Not only am I not walking this path alone, but I am walking it hand in hand with The Creator. The One that designed me to be exactly who I am. Anxiety, depression and all. Though a work in progress, I am unique and precious. Just like you. And though we are broken, God, the Great Designer, uses imperfect people for perfect purpose all the time!

You are so much more important than you can possibly realize. And while things are not always easy. While things often don’t go our way, there is more than this life. There is more than just this moment. And God has a plan for each of us. You just happen to only be in the middle of the journey right now.

Now I know that this verse may seem misleading because God never promised us an easy road. He didn’t promise luxury, wealth, or comfort in this life. He promises so much more. He knows what is to come for each and every one of His children. That is such a comfort to me. Knowing that the God of the Universe has a plan for me. And for you.

I have battled with depression and anxiety for many years now. The older I get, the easier the battle becomes because I’m ready for it. I have my armor, support system and action plan ready to go. I understand that many people are still in the most difficult parts of this battle or similar ones. I think that it’s important to understand that we are being held within the arms of the Almighty Savior. He is our Hope. He is our future. And what an amazing future it will be!

I would like to challenge you to find a verse that really speaks to your soul. That really breathes life and love into you. Something that reminds you that you are not alone and that you have the BEST backup imaginable in our Lord Jesus Christ. Memorize this verse. Rehearse this verse. Know it forwards and backwards and put it into your arsenal. Then, when this verse is a part of you, choose another. Pack your arsenal full of love and life. When the dark comes, you will have the light within you to withstand the storm. God bless you.

We All Know Where We Have Been. Do You Know Where You’re Going?

As Suicide Awareness and Prevention Week approaches, I am hit with overwhelming feelings. Anyone that knows my history will understand because I attempted suicide when I was 17. 

At 29 years old now, I can’t believe how amazing my journey has been. 12 years seems like a long time and quite a bit of separation. As they say, hind sight is 20/20. If 17 year old me could have looked into the future and seen what my life would look like now, I’m not sure I could have gone through with my attempt.

I am so thankful that I am still living in this world. I have so many opportunities to change the direction of my life. When I was 17, I couldn’t image a life like this. A life where I am so happy to be alive. A life where I have people that I can feel their love and acceptance like a weighted blanket (in case you didn’t notice, I want one!). A life where even when everything at work is going wrong, I’m stressed, I’m tired, the dogs pooped everywhere and the cats threw up on the bed, I’m good. I may have a moment of freaking out. Who wouldn’t? But then I just have to laugh at the absurdity of the entire situation. 

Why do I say any of this? Well, I want everyone to know that there is an end. It may take some time, but the pain and suffering ends. It has to. You have to let it end. My attempted suicide is such a small part of my life now. It is barely a blip on the scale of my life. I refuse to be defined by the bad things in my life. We go through bad things in this world. We go through terrible, heart breaking things in this life. The key is to not let any of those things define you. 

Here’s the point though, this isn’t about me. It’s not about my history. This is about you. This is about the people that you love. If this week means as much to you as it does to me, then you have been touched by suicide or something just as difficult. It is such a difficult thing to put your head around. Someone feeling so low that they couldn’t image another moment on this earth. 

This is why this week is so important. To let people know that they are not alone. That they have so much to offer this world. And knowing that we were each preciously and fearfully made by the most loving and all powerful God, doesn’t hurt at all. 

The more you rely and grow in Him, the easier this all becomes. Be the light to the world, as God is our Light. Share that love with others and let it GROW! When everything is dark and the walls are caving in, remember, Jesus went before us and showed us the path. 

I am NOT a victim. I am THRIVING! You are NOT a victim. You are THRIVING! We have so much power, because we have God. Use this week as a reminder that through God all things are possible. He specializes in impossible. It’s really His sweet spot of operations. 

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13 -ESV